I was once in a similar position (not nearly as bad), where my dad FUCKED shit up with a girl I loved by forcing his unsolicited dating advice reminding me about my past repeatedly over weeks and months and bringing me into the brink of depression. When I finally thought I got through everything OK and convinced him to stop and was going to live happily ever after with said girl - he called me at 5 in the morning and offered to give me a ride to a carpool meetup for a weekend with said girl and our friends. We ran into the girl at a 7-11, she was glowing, sparks were flying, I get back in the car and my dad proceeds to do exactly what I had told him not to do. I was so pissed I basically ignored the girl when I got there, I'm losing it just talking about it. I was the happiest I had ever been for about 10 seconds, and the one person who I'm supposed to trust and confide in repeatedly betrayed me in the same way. I'm now convinced that my dad is a psychopath who lacks any empathy at all. I'm pretty sure I have PTSD, I'm going to try taking exstacy with my brother over spring break. I heard talking to people on exstacy can help. It's been almost a year. Me and my dad used to be best friends and now we havent talked in atleast 2 weeks and I'm not complaining.

My advice to you is to acknowledge that it could be years, if ever you guys are friends again. Seeing and talking to you will only remind him of the pain he went through so this is basically unconditional. In fact if you actually give a damn about your son, and it sounds like you don't, you should offer to help him get as far away from you as possible - as soon as possible. This isn't about what you want anymore - you fucked up. He's in a downward spiral and it's possible he will never get out of it, but the longer he's in it the harder it is to get out.

By the way how the fuck does an ivy league son not get the benefit of the doubt?