why would anyone need an original?

The story of Little Red Riding hood has been passed down for generations... if I told you she was eaten by a unicorn rather than a wolf you'd undoubtedly tell me I was telling the story inaccurately, incorrectly, that I had garbled it in my retelling.

That's your view of the bible. There are translations that say "unicorn" and there are many that don't - per many sources on the web, some cited in the article which you didn't read or absorb.

You can cherry pick weird translations and maintain that they're the "One True Version" if you like. They aren't the only version, they aren't a very accurate translation, they aren't the last translation. You can't generalize based on outliers.

But yeah, Atheist Jesus can beat up Christian Jesus, ok.