When I was using, even prescribed levels of opiates, I could always remember the feel of a natural high. The feelings that come along with a beautiful sunset. The first day of spring. Being with someone you really care about. But I could never feel any of those things on opiates.

The high its self was pretty good, and could potentials natural highs when I first started using. But after I became dependent, and I couldn’t get that feeling anymore, everything in my life was just lacking those extreme highs in emotion. Completely. I could take more pills, and maybe feel a little better, or enjoy a day more than the buzz that had become so normal to me, but not even close to what a naturally comes from having good things or experiences, and the clean and clear, crisp, natural high that your own endorphins give you.

But that shit comes back with a fury when you stop. Even for a few days. You get extremely emotional, and realize how much the fog has taken from you. Once you level back out, and can get those natural endorphins cranking again, people and experiences that before seemed normal and boring get something back that make even the worst moments, and putting up with the enhanced negative emotions well worth it. It’s something you can’t buy, no matter how much you have to spend on drugs.