I understand you. My mum had an abortion years ago and it was very difficult and emotional. The only reason she did it is because she’d literally just had a baby and my biological father is a piece of shit that doesn’t take responsibility for his actions or bother with the kids he has to her. She was left feeling suicidal afterwards, and the only reason she didn’t do something stupid was because she reasoned that she already had 5 children alive in the world that she had to carry on in life to care for. My mum wasn’t mentally mature much, she had me (the eldest) at 19, she left me with my maternal grandparents for them to raise me. And then continued to have kids she struggled to care for her, so by the time she got pregnant again shortly after giving birth to her fifth child, it was obvious she couldn’t of coped with two babies under the age of 1 and couldn’t of afforded it as a single parent without a job.

We aren’t religious in my family, we’re agnostic people if anything. But we believe the body is just a vessel and the spirit just leaves it after death and continues to exist. We’ve been to a spiritualist church numerous times and had mediums come up to us with messages from deceased loved ones, and despite not knowing us and anything about us, they come up to us and describe the person down to a tee so perfectly and what they’re wanting to talk to us about about what’s going on in our lives. They’ve come through with my dead Grandad who has seen the way I’ve been struggling this past year and have talked to me about how Grandad has told me to stop feeling suicidal and get those thoughts right out of my head. I gasped at this because this is something hardly anyone knows about, so it’s obviously not a load of bs. They’ve also randomly come through with my dead great-grandad’s spirit carrying a little boy on his shoulder and the medium said to my mum “this is boy belongs to you, he’s so lovely and smiley and this man is wanting to tell you this baby boy is happy now and nothing can hurt him now”.

For me I believe you can say it’s not got this and that yet, so it’s not a person, but it is, yes you can get rid of it, if you want to, do that, but it still was a person forming a physical body, it’s spirit still survives. No it doesn’t hurt them. But yes you have just chosen a different path on a timeline. They are now somewhere else. And my mum knows that.