At this point, I feel like I take them as a placebo just because I'm used to taking them back when I needed to. I relied on them at the past, and my anxiety has gotten to where even if I do have to do something stressful and forget to take them, I've never had any panic attacks or my behavior affected due to my lack of medication. I'm just thinking that they saw a red flag and automatically think I can't control myself because of it. I know I can handle myself because I haven't taken Xanax even once during the training, because I left it in the car (I don't want to get caught with it), and I've had some practice questioning inmates at booking and giving simple orders, which was a bit stressful having to do it for the first time to a very muscular person with gang tattoos. I never felt like I "needed" it or even gotten close. Looking back, the psychology test didn't take into account that maybe I'm just taking this because I'm being a hypochondriac about my anxiety. It was terrible in the past, and I just take it because it seems like a routine now, but I can guarantee you I can quit cold turkey and be fine, which I'll do because I really don't want this happening again. I'm reminded of a story in high school where a kid brought a shotgun to school by accident, because he went hunting and left it in his car. I feel similar to that story, because I went "hunting", but still keep my shotgun with me, even though there's no hunting for me to do. I got caught with it in my car even though I don't need it anymore. That's how I feel about it, anyway.

I understand your concerns about my mental health, but I know myself, and I know my mental health isn't holding me back any more, and I'm ready to move past the therapy and self-improvement phase of my life that I've already been through, and was hoping this would be my opportunity, but I guess I can always find other ways into my goal of being a digital/computer forensics analyst. I'll talk with the Major there, since I called and wanted to know the reasoning, so I'll see what he has to say about it.