I'm sorry you hate yourself so much for doing it. Maybe you should stop? If I had the feelings you do about it, I would definitely stop doing it and save the money. If you are not happy and experiencing the best out of your life, then what the fuck are you doing with yourself man?

I am proud that I went solo because it took courage. I was nervous about doing it, but I did it anyways, and I had a great time and was glad that I took the chance. I know that most men wouldn't have the balls to do it, regardless of the morality.

Again, this isn't me saying "oh I don't want to bother increasing my SMV so I'll just skip it with my wallet" although I don't see anything wrong with that either. This is about a fat virgin with no options, completely frustrated and fed up, exercising an effective strategy to get laid. It's nothing more than that.

Lastly, I don't think these hoes fancy me now, let alone when I am 50. I understand the situation quite well- I pay them, they fuck me. It's not about me feeling wanted (that would be great, but you cannot buy that). It's about me being able to experience something that I have been otherwise unable to for 27 years.

Again, the choice wasn't between a nice regular girl LTR and hookers. It was between no sex at all and lots of sex with beautiful women.

I don't hate myself for doing it but i hated myself for doing it and not being able to stop. And being in East Asia surrounded by scenes like these are the norms here. I was a fat virgin like you too and although i do enjoy going on to such trips, at the end of the day i just felt 'meh'. And going solo isn't a proud moment. It was your second trip iirc? Would it be the last? It will just lead to many more. I'm trying to help you out here to avoid getting suck into the realms of the 'world'.

I don't know why i sounded this emotional. I apologies for my rant, maybe the commentors here disgusted me for cheering you on. I myself enjoyed reading your FR and hope one day i can check out the place you went to see how its like ;) But don't make it a habit, keep trying to lose weight and go make yourself look good so you can snag some bitches in your town. Well thats the reason we are all here. To be a better man.