Yeah, I love to help people too, but also if I don't like someone, I like to hurt them and watch them get hurt, so maybe all of this cancels out, but I only hate few people, like 1 or 2 and the hate is reasonable for me, well surely it's subjective, but it isn't mindeless rage, it's more calculated because I had a loooot of time to think about it. Also, I love saying wholesome things to classmates once in a while because they don't expect it from me, I think I like it because I get some good attention which I really need.

I'm actually scared to say negative things and be rude, because I risk being put in bad light, so I choose to say nothing most of the time, then when there is an perfect opportunity and I know it's certain, I'll say nice thing to people, they'll get all happy and comfortable, and I'll go quiet again.

So it seems like I'm helpful because I'm lonely and anxious teen.