Taken from Desolation.org

Everything I Need to Know In Life, I Learned From Video Games The following 20 lessions were wrote by Brian Raffel of Raven Software.

There's no problem that cannot be overcome with violence. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters. If it moves, KILL IT! Operating any vehicle or weapon is simple and requires no training. "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker than they are to do their dirty work. If you find food lying on the ground, eat it. You can smash things and get away with it. (smashing things doesn't hurt and many nice things are hidden inside other things) When someone dies, they disappear! Money is frequently found lying in the streets. All shopkeepers carry high tech weaponry. You never run out of bullets, only grenades. Ninjas are common and fight in public frequently. Whenever huge, evil fat men are about to die, they start flashing. When you are born, you are invulnerable for a brief period of time. Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in predictable patterns which makes it easier to shoot them all down. All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies. The enemy always leaves weapons and ammo lying around for no apparent reason other than to allow their enemies to pick it up and defeat them with it. You sustain injury if you hurt innocents. Gang members frequently all look the same and often have the same names. When driving, don't worry if your vehicle crashes or explodes. A new one will appear in its place. The next 24 lessions were wrote by me:

I can sustain several gun shots, explosions, and hits with an axe from my friend, simply because we're wearing the same color. With the proper covert ops training. you can detonate a nuclear device, on a moving train, and still have enough time to run away from the blast, jump off the train, and live. (Soldier of Fortune) Books are knowledge, and knowledge is power, enough power to make your weapons more powerful (Tome of Power, Heretic) You can carry enough weapons, ammunition, and armor on you at once to take over France by yourself. Bullet proof glass can withstand a rocket blast. You don't need any training, you can handle any weapon once you pick it up. You can even wield alien weapons, alien arms, and use entire alien beings as a weapon, without a problem. Most african american people have a name like Superfly, because it's cool, and have been known to hump walls (Diakitana) Any injurry, no matter how severe, can be fixed instantly by simply walking over a first aid kit. Any bullet wound will go away slowly after taking some pain killers. Perscription, or ammount taken dosen't matter. (Max Payne) Hell is a bad place, run by giant mechanical spiders. John Romero is Satan, he can throw wooden blocks at you and spawn demons from them. (Doom II) One person will always be able to overcome an entire invading army. Things not going your way, today? Pull down the console and turn on god mode. If you wear the right wig, you'll have infinite ammo (Metal Gear Solid II) Even if you are mankind's last chance for survival, you won't get a break in stores. All guns hover in the air, some of them spin and bob, and most of them are comically over sized until you wield them. If you kill enough small animals, you can become better at picking locks. You can have a serial number on the back of your head, and still act inconspicious (Hitman) Any vehicle can be instantly outfitted for upgrades, or weapondry, just by running over the item you want, or driving through a garage. (Grand Theft Auto II) If you have 100 pennies, you get a free life. Sometimes you get a star. Gold is so valuable, it is left suspended in the air, or packed inside boxes with ?'s on them. You can die in a game, and still have sequels made. (Tomb Raider) Nazis are bad.. bad people. The Dopefish lives! The next few lessions are from other leaders in the game industry:

Important things are always turned on by overly large buttons in the middle of a floor or wall. (Robert Duffy, id Software) Scientists are wusses. (Robert Duffy, id Software) Always run from flaming skulls; no good can come of them. (Robert Duffy, id Software) Lightning guns and water don't mix. (Kenn Hoekstra, Raven Software) Blue keys open blue doors. (Kenn Hoekstra, Raven Software) In any innocuous corridor, there is always a trap waiting to be sprung. (Jake Simpson, Raven Software) If an object has a + on it, it's good for you. (John Romero, ION Storm) If you see a long room with what you are looking for at the other end of it, go get health immediately. (Tom Hall, ION Storm) Keep all your best stuff on ridiculously high pedestals. (Tom Hall, ION Storm) To hatch evil plans, it helps to be surrounded by lava. (Tom Hall, ION Storm) When you feel like life's gonna take a turn for the worse, press F6. (Tom Hall, ION Storm)