UPDATE: 23F with my 23M off/on fwb(?) of 5 years.. just found out I'm pregnant, so confused.

No one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I will give you my experience.

My boyfriend and I are both mid twenties and found I was pregnant in September. It was an accident. We both love kids and really want to have a family in the next few years. Ultimately our decision came down to percentages we were 40% for and 60% against having the baby. We love and want kids, but there's so much we want to do before we have kids, and so much we want to do to prepare for kids. We could make it work with everything but that's just it: it would be making it work. The other issue is this: we love each other and as of right now see our futures together - but we haven't been together long enough to make a lifetime commitment together. And a baby is a lifetime commitment. More than that, i needed to make the decision on my own for myself. I truly believe my boyfriend would never walk out on his child, but the fact of the matter is thousands of women have felt the same and still ended up single mothers with no support. Whatever decision I made needed to be with the assumption that he wouldn't be around.

Ultimately we decided to terminate the pregnancy. And it was hard for both of us. We terminated the first week of October when I was almost 6 weeks (I chose the medication option) - I have cried every day since. Not all day, and some days are better than others, but it's been really rough. It's devastating to lose a child, even more so because we just weren't prepared. We feel inadequate. I resent my boyfriend some days. He cries a lot, too (and he's not an emotional guy). But we will make it through, and we've learned to communicate better with each other and be more open about our emotions.

We've used this to motivate ourselves to work on our future goals. We don't want to be down and depressed; this event has helped motivate us to get to a point in our lives where we are ready for kids. I don't regret my choice, but I couldn't do it again.

OP, it's your choice whatever you do. You're under no obligation to include him or even tell him what's going on - he is not your boyfriend and you need to make this decision accordingly.

Best of luck. You're welcome to pm me if you have any questions.

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