I am not saying she's the victim. She made the bad decision, without a doubt, and it is a BAD bad decision (though we shouldn't give the dad ANY credit here either). Regardless of "tiers," there is no reason why she should punish herself more than she already has, and more than the world already is. Two important relationships in her life are ruined, she feels terrible - there are consequences in the real world she is actively experiencing. So yeah, some bad decisions really affect people's lives, some of them don't, but ultimately, the fallout from this will settle, and she will probably be a different person in a year. At this point, she has taken accountability for her actions and is moving on, which will help others move on. I've never slept with my best friend's parent or anything like that, but some decisions are made without appreciating what the consequences actually will be. She's also twenty years old; just barely an adult. Got lots of growing up to do, yet.