I can consider her feelings and understand why this was the best choice, but with it being such a surprise ahead of a planned Christmas weekend, I'm finding it hard to feel festive or even care.

From previous relationships, I have found that time does genuinely heal wounds, but this felt like something more and definite. As it is so fresh, and during a period of togetherness, I'm finding it very hard to understand.

I've very quickly rallied my support system and made time to have a considerable period with them all. I completely get what you're saying though; as much as I can tell myself it'll be fine, it is easy to slip when living inside your own head. I need other people to tell me that I'm going to be okay. In my head, I just see some grand reunion, which I'm aware is unhealthy.

I think I'll throw myself into a hobby I may have neglected when it became 'unimportant' and try and fill the space between work and friends with something productive.

It is amazing how you can experience something so intense more than once and still be left feeling resolutely lost when it happens again. I've seen friends prosper, I just need to get beyond the stage where I feel it's not actually happened. Thank you for your kind words; I'm here too.