I'm on the opposite end too. She was my first true love, but when I couldn't please her in bed anymore I just never thought about it and did my own thing because the connection we had was like nothing else. The shit we joked about and the stuffed we did made people jealous of our relationship because we were that cool couple. I fucked up really bad with certain things I looked up when I wanted to get off and she forgave me for it when she finally found it in my browser history, but one time I fucked up so bad I hurt her enough to have her get revenge on me. I had a fetish (nothing illegal, no kids, no bestailty, just something not what a straight man should look at) and a very bad drinking problem. When I drank I would fantasies about this stuff which she always gave me the chance to get help with because it was a fetish I wasn't comfortable with telling people about, but she was the only one that knew about it. My drinking problem got way out of hand and I started to talk to those people that I fantasized about, but the next day sober regret everything and hate myself that I got that close to it. I never went through with my fantasies, but I lied to her that I stopped. One day I got extremely drunk with my friend, he left and I drank more. I blacked out and fell on the floor. When she got home she found me cold and barely breathing (pretty much dead). She called my friend and asked him what happened and if I had my phone because it was no where to be found, he said it was in he's car and she went for it. I was at the point where I couldn't respond to anything she said and my eyes were rolling back. I most likely needed her to call 911 because I was literally dying, but when she went through my phone she saw what I was doing again (fantasy/fetish stuff). I remember nothing of that night and I know for a fact I'm very lucky I didn't die because I for a fact if she never came home and found me I would have thrown up and choked myself to death. The next day was normal, I woke up still fucking drunk but she was still in the bed with me, so I thought nothing of it. That day she wrote me a letter saying she's done with me and my lies. She was the perfect girl and forgave the demons I had, but I never worried about it because of all the chances she gave me. She was perfect in every way, but I never got the help that I should have gotten. If you're still reading this and since I'm not using a throwaway and if someone knows me I'm going to say the fetish I was into is SHEMALES. I don't consider myself gay and I'm not attracted to men, but I was just into that kind of porn. I hate that I was because I lost the girl of my dreams... the one that always wanted to just help me.