It's hard for a guy to commit to marriage. We have to really love someone to want to bunker down for the rest of our lives.

Even now, I doubt you have any idea the pain that you've caused him. You lied to him, justified yourself sleeping with other people and perpetuated a continuous lie, then when he told you going on the trip would break his heart, you didn't give a shit and fucked someone else anyway.

I know I sound harsh, but I've been in his shoes. He's fucking crushed right now and it's all because of you and some horny piece of shit guy that you allowed to get too close. Even worse, all of this was pre-meditated.

I know this sucks for you, but it's nothing compared to what your fiancé felt that night he didn't hear from you and knew some guy was railing you.

He won't come back and he has every right to stay away from you.

Please learn from this and never put anyone else through this horrible bullshit.

I'm bitter, because this scenario happened to me just hours after she told me she loved me. Nothing quite like the pain that comes from this.