This one.

I'm not even 40 and the push for gay rights was basically entirely in my lifetime. We only moved past the separate but equal phase (civil unions, don't ask don't tell, etc) during the Obama years.

My mom spent the vast majority of her life in the world where the best most gay people could hope for was to have decent folks just pretend they didn't exist. I mean hell, she went to high school during racial desegregation. Her story about where things were in her youth would be talking about the appropriateness of using the n-word.

It's truly wonderful how far we've come and we also have farther to go. But it's good to keep in mind how relatively quickly it's happening and not be surprised that large parts of society are struggling to keep up or find it all scary and weird.

Not to defend those people's hang ups, especially not as a defense against cruelty or violence. But it doesn't serve us to pretend they just disappeared or that it's all ancient history.