It was a transitional time in my life. I was extremely depressed and visited the Christmas lights at the temple. Missionaries stopped by the house, I was planning on committing suicide but decided to answer the door anyway. I found them to be so naive but with really pure intentions. I had nothing to lose so I let them come back even though I didn't believe any of what they were teaching applied to me. (I was too far gone to be loved by my Father in Heaven) I continued because I liked them.

After baptism I studied on my own, I attended church but was lost in the culture. I continually made mistakes that made me look foolish. My family and friends shunned me for joining the church. I had no real connection to members but what did I expect? I was an outsider looking in. More alone than ever before. I moved to a small rural town and was rejected again and again. Leaders lied. Bullied. Played emotional games. It's a club. A popularity contest. "Cliquish. Clannish. Nepotism. Cronyism." I hung on for several years.

I was really not one of them but in the end I have a relationship with Christ, Ive studied the BOM and now study the NT and love it. I definitely learned a lesson in this life and appreciate the experience.

Obviously inactive with one assigned friend.