Your relationship with your parents will shift over time. This happens as they turn from just "mom and dad" into other human beings with numerous flaws and qualities. This change especially happens when there are life-altering events (like what you're enduring now). It makes it even harder when they display values contrary to how you were raised. "Oh you have that expectation of me, but refuse to act like that yourself?" It is up to you on how to process this changed view of your father and what the future relationship will be like. However, you have every right to emotionally shield yourself from him.

There is no excuse for such jokes or behavior from your father. Take care of yourself first and foremost right now. The changed position with men (and family) will take time and possibly professional intervention. It is okay to wonder what the future will be like around men, but you don't have to push yourself to find out right away. It is rattling when your view of the other gender changes so abruptly.

I went through mostly ignorant and naive in regards to misogynistic abusive behavior. My father is a cheating narcissistic abuser. He normalized emotional abuse when I was growing up and still expects me to listen to his beck and call as an adult. It took the loss of my mother and intervention from my husband to see these things. I am still reconciling with the altered view of my parents. I nearly cut contact with him last year over his response to my recent situation. Due to my naivety and upbringing, I blindly walked into a situation with an abusive controlling man. For six months, I was stalked, sexually harassed, humiliated and pinned against furniture in my workplace.

When I turned to my dad for advice he told me things like, "suck it up and deal with it, or you'll get fired." I started recognizing some of his past behavior in the man that was tormenting me. For at least a month after these things ended, my husband couldn't touch or look at me sexually because it freaked me out. I still have trouble with people looking at me or men giving me any sort of attention. Through time, therapy and interaction with trusted men, my confidence has grown a bit. Things are also normalizing with my husband, though it can be difficult with my constant change. I've distanced myself from my father and do not give into manipulative behavior for attention. I stick to calling him once every two weeks, on my terms.

You are not alone. You have so much courage in dealing with this situation. You also seem to have a lot of insight. Both of those things will help you during the healing process. It will take time, but you can do it.

I wish you all the best OP.