Consider this a little tough-love

Consider exiting the forum, stage left.

Whether or not you feel like defending OP's nmom, or you're instead projecting your own feelings about the lack of help for your wedding onto OP, there is no reason to attack OP because she was venting about how her mother's behavior completely ruined her wedding.

It wasn't about the dress.

It wasn't about the money.

It was about an nmother coming in, embarrassing the OP, being childish, and the OP realizing that her wedding couldn't go forward as planned with an nmonster in her life. And then having to view the GC getting all the love and attention just a few years later.

This is a support forum. We always assume a context of abuse. Otherwise, nearly every single post here would consist of your brand of "tough love" - because it's REALLY easy to tell someone what to do when you're not in the middle of it, your're not emotionally involved, and you've not been subjected to the same experiences, nor have developed the same triggers.

I'm the SG. My brother was gifted 3 cars - one when he turned 16, one when he graduated HS, and one when he graduated college. My sister was gifted 1 car and a trip to Europe. When I graduated HS, I got ...nothing. When I graduated college I got ...nothing. My brother and sister both had college paid for. I was cut off for no apparent reason (no, really, my mom had no idea and my dad has no memory) after my first quarter and had to pay for it all myself.

Now in your "tough love" world, I should shut the fuck up and should've learned that nothing in life is free, that I shouldn't have expected anything (even though I was told that my education would be paid for), right? Rather than getting support? I'm not entitled to my feelings of unfairness and hurt and upset, because I should never have expected my parents to do what they promised?

That is bullshit, and you know it.