What's up guys, it's I-delete-all-threads-in-the-morning-because-this-is-my-main boi here. I'm stressed, more alone than ever, and did I already say stressed? Fuck my brain keeps screaming at me every moment of every day it feels like. "Got to do this, got to do that, worry about this, oh, and remember the one time you did this?" Constant noise in my brains.

I'm getting so tired of being a loser who gets massive anxiety attacks just thinking about going out. I'm sick and tired of being a person who seems to be incompatible with this world. I'm expected to enjoy alcohol, I'm expected to enjoy partying, I'm expected to want to have sex a lot. I'm expected to like being with people, I'm expected not to cry because I'm a man. All these things amongst others I'm expected to be. I'm none of them. I feel so detached from this world. I don't want to work anymore, I don't want to go back to school. I wanna sit around home and just make music, write and play vidya. That's all I care about. Why did I become such a loner loser?

Besides all this, I'm also hugely unattractive and not fit at all, I don't go out, I don't care about my appearance (face is unfixable anyways), I don't like talking to people, I get too emotionally invested in girls I don't even know, because, you know, logic. I constantly feel like I'm being watched, and laughed at, I feel the people judging me as I walk. I feel some people feeling sorry for me, like you would towards an autistic kid with a minecraft hat.

I know I can't change. All I can hope is that get rich so I can just self-medicate I guess. I have no idea how to get normal. I still feel huge love for you people. Everyone. But I've had such a bad experience with people in the past. It's weird. I wish I was the only one who was sad so you wouldn't need to be, because all I see in people nowadays is sadness, even if they are smiling. I don't want to believe in a world like that. I love you guys so much no matter who you are, no matter what happens. And I'm not just saying that.

And sorry for the dramatic text. I know nobody likes the cheesy bullshit I end up writing. Can't help it though. I'm not good at this stuff. Sorry.