I don't think my wife is trying to inflict pain on me, so that's nice.

My wife has a lot of issues, some of them quite serious. I told her even in spite of everything if she couldn't get anyone else in an emergency I'd be there for her. Not to garner sympathy or try to manipulate her into loving me but as a friend that knows what she's gone through.

The funny thing is anything I tell her positive now, she throws back at me as trying to manipulate her. I'm like telling you the things that I loved about our relationship is me trying to get you to stop solely focusing on the negative. It certainly is how I look at our time together, through a positive lens instead of a negative one. Although supposedly I'm the negative one in the relationship :-/

I was being negative the last year or so but not toward her or our relationship, it was me more lashing out at the world for my difficult circumstances. But if your spouse won't stick with you through the tough times, what was the fucking point in the first place? It's easy to stay together when shit's going good. The fact that she couldn't see it getting good again is what hurts as well.