I don't blame you for wanting a break, I mentioned I want to launch my own business. I did last year and was feeling the best I ever felt, but I lost my main client in September and then lost all motivation for it and was forced to have to go and work for another employer as I I'd borrowed money from my mom for holidays over summer thinking I could pay it straight back. I then got a job at my brothers place as a short term fix till I got back with the business, I hate working for employers as I want it my way all the time and think I know best. But it gave me a chance to sit back and get my priorities in order, when you relieve other pressures it gives you more time to think I believe, before I got this job I had the pressure of making my own income, the stuff on at home and feeling pretty lonely as things hadn't worked out with a girl i'd hoped. Shortly after getting the job my closest brother (25 - a reddit veteran haha), who I'm now living with, travelling to work with and now sitting across from me at work.. just came out transgender after only just breaking up from his girlfriend of 2 years where they had my little nephew now 10 months. For me negative situations just all feel like one hurdle, some smaller and some larger than others. I'm glad I know how lucky I am and how many options I have in life because every day sitting opposite him was just a constant reminder of all the things going wrong for me, I was trying to help him at the same time which was making me think less and less about myself. Over time I distanced myself and became more selfish in a way, I'm happy to say I've helped him as much as I can though and accept the fact he may want to be a woman, I just hope he goes about the right professional help (at first he basically took hormones and didnt want to see a therapist). And since I came to terms with that I've started to really work hard at being healthy as I had a big year partying last year and never looked after my body. I'm very lucky in the fact I had my newborn newphew around when all this happened with my brother, and lucky to have the friends that I do to stick with me the past 4 years, but if you dont have these things I could imagine it would be very hard. Latest thing troubling my mind at the moment is I've kind have forgotten who I used to be and racking my head on how to get back to this person. But even more recently I'm like, well I still enjoy doing all the old things I like to do, I've got options, theres loads to do. I like you am not a big reader, I've been working since I was 16. So i'm trying to find some new hobbies as I've never really done much else other than tv and gaming but I like to build things and i'm quite social so at the moment im on pinterest looking for stuff, I even read a guide on finding a hobby lol. Its all just about keeping your mind occupied really, your surroundings, the people you associate with, what you read etc all plays a part in what you think/do etc, just have to be able to recognize whats good and whats bad for you.

I could seriously talk forever you dont understand how many tangents my thought processes break off into, just hope some of it makes sense to you haha. (i have just smoked a joint too :|).