It's all a worth assessment. Where I am at is the best situation, that's why I'm here. Working harder for shit I don't even want is not worth it, that ends up being more miserable than where I am now. For an extremely simple and hyperbolic example, that's like saying hey your life will be better if you have this $100, but you got to eat some dog shit to get it, gotta put in the misery to get the reward. No thanks, eating dog shit is not worth $100 to me, I'd rather not eat the dog shit and not have the $100. Change the reward to something actually worth the work. If eating dog shit for $100 is worth it to you, go ahead, no judgement, I'm glad you found something worthwhile. But that shit is not worth it to me. Where I'm already at is the best worth ratio possible. I could go to school for whatever the hell I wanted, it's just all shit, and I'd end up more miserable than I am now. Not worth.

I'd rather kill myself than be in her position. She is stuck in a shitty position that she hates, all because she made the wrong decisions in college. And no, she can't just focus and study something else, because she has to pay off law school, pay her mortgage, buy food, and needs income to survive, so she has to focus on being a lawyer. She can't just quit being a lawyer and go back to school all over again for something completely unrelated. Or she would have a back when she started realizing how soul crushing her job was. I'd hate to be her more than I hate being me. And fuck that "wonder" bullshit, like that actually means anything lol. I'm an existential nihilist, nothing means anything.