A friend of mine.
We had a rocky relationship for two years our junior and senior years of high school.
Up to that point in my life, I had never met anyone I could have so much fun with, at anytime, under any circumstance. We could talk for years without stopping I'd imagine. Unfortunately, my young and addictive personality also found pot my junior year.
I loved pot. Had so much fun while high, doing all sorts of immature and goofy stuff with friends. I somehow convinced all my smoking friends, and everyone who might hear about our smoking stories, to not let it get known that I smoke pot, knowing that my girlfriend would be entirely against it. That secret somehow stayed pretty secure within an entire football and soccer locker room at a 4A school in North Texas, for nearly 3 months.
One particular passing period in between classes one day my junior year, is one I wish I could forget. As I got to "our usual hallway hangout spot", the look on my girlfriends face was heart wrenching. What I knew is that I fucked up... And that she had found out. What I didn't know is how she'd react (surprisingly). She was crying FOR me. She was sad to see how fake I had been, how my morals had gone out the window, and how I had become a pot head. She kept telling me how great of a person I could be if I just made the right choices.
I told her she was right, and I wanted to get back to my humble beginnings, for me personally, and not just to keep her around.
As yall may know, telling your friends in high school with whom you've smoked with daily for the past few months that you wish to no longer hangout if they're smoking, is easier said than done... "Bros before Hoes dude", "aww what a pussy", etc. You know, the usual high school stuff.
And I gave in to it. So until graduation our senior year, our relationship was off and on. I struggled severely with smoking pot, because I learned that I loved doing it alone just as much. So whenever I was in stoner mode, she would keep her distance and just hope/help me a little (she eventually understood that I am my own person and took a more hands off approach at "helping" me). And when I was on a sober spree (from parents catching me or something), she could tell, and would happily hangout with me.
After we graduated she took me out to lunch to tell me that she wants to break communication as she heads in to college, and wished me the best of luck. She had scholarships to Baylor whereas I lazily didn't reply to any scholarship offers of even apply to a single college.
August comes around and I somehow pull off getting accepted into the U of Arkansas with one week left before move in date. Cool. I get settled in at school and begin realizing that college has a HUGE dating pool compared to high school. And seeing all these kids with a wardrobe more expensive than my car, and cars more expensive than tuition, I might as well kiss that old girlfriend good bye. If this was how Arkansas was, I could only imagine the amount of money at Baylor. And with their motto being "Ring before Spring", it was only a matter of time before I hear about an engagement or something about my ex. She is (I know it's biased) absolutely beautiful. She is a head turner. And her looks aren't even the best part about her.
She got a boyfriend early into freshman year and remained with him for two years. We did catchup once the summer in between freshman-soph year. It was like nothing had ever changed, just laughing and smiling the whole time. But in the end, it was confirmed I was an even bigger pot head at college with no sign of slowing down.
They break up after sophomore year and she sends me a text asking how I'm doing. "Still the same.." I replied. And that's all that needed to be said.
I see her half a year later at Christmas time junior year at our local Walmart (our parents live in same neighborhood; albeit they could live in a multi million dollar home and we live paycheck to paycheck). We hug and she starts to tear up and says "I pray for you everyday mmurff." And that's the last time I've talked to or seen her. I have yet to meet a girl remotely close to her... And haven't been on a date in 6 years.
Through the grapevine I know she has had a very serious boyfriend for 2-3 years, who I can only assume is a cream of the crop type of guy. She graduated and works for her dad.
I am still a loser stoner, in my 6th year of college, and am essentially dropping out this semester before I fail out. I am a huge fucking joke and disgrace to myself.
I don't want to end on a sad note so I'll provide some light. If you saw me, you'd think I'm the happiest guy in the world. Always smiling and making others do the same, helping people with their problems, and always trying to have fun. I will gladly talk to anyone about almost anything, just to make a new friend and share a smile.
I know my chances are most likely gone with her but I think about her EVERY day. She is incredible.
Happy Saturday everybody!