Your comment treads closest to the reality of my situation, so I'm gonna just post this here..

I often fantasize about how peaceful everyone else's lives would be without me in it, and how peaceful my eternal rest would be without life in it. I feel like my thoughts about death are very mature, and when the time comes I'll be happy to go. My problem lies in the fact that this is seen as a 'crazy' mentality. I tried to talk with some close friends about it and they told me to "shut up and don't repeat that to anyone.". This is something that I thought any mature person could understand, and hell maybe everyone had something to say about their death. The truth is, most people refuse the existence of their own demise. Not only do most people (from my experience) not even think about removing themselves from the picture, but they refuse to understand that their death is eventual, and that it is a beautiful part of life.

I say this relates to your situation because of my restraint from telling anyone. I am in a new place, and most of my friends are the people I work with. I can't express to them that sometimes I get caught up fantasizing about my own death, even though when I'm frozen up at work stacking boxes that what I'm stuck daydreaming about. I quit smoking recently, and the suicidal thoughts have become increasingly frequent. I promised myself and my family that I would never act on them, but damn it if they weren't such a hulking part of my thoughts that I had to hide from everyone I know. When I am properly distracted, I forget all about them. Suicide is the furthest thing from my mind, but when I am by myself it hides behind everything I see and hear. It makes it harder to deal with these thoughts, knowing that I vowed to never harm myself, because if that is the case why do they entertain me? Why do I keep coming back to them and letting them take over my head?

Sorry for the rant, but the anonymous userbase of Reddit is honestly where I feel most comfortable.