What are you struggling with?

I've been trying in person, but the places I usually go to (like for my hobbies/interests, etc), I almost never see any women at the stores, let alone ones I would have any interest asking out. The two women at video game stores I've seen had boyfriends and the only woman at a tabletop store, I'm not sure if it's my personality, they pulled out the "I have a boyfriend" line to me even though I didn't have any interest to them, and they said they were single to other people. Customer wise, I never seen any women customers when I'm at them.

I had a couple dating site profiles for almost 17 years with no responses, even with a year and a half of premium. I kept hearing they aren’t that good, but I’ve heard success stories, so that’s what made me keep trying. I signed up for a couple in early to mid 2003 when I moved to my area. What I did was I would sign up for an account, fill out the profiles, and send out 10-15 messages. I went on a couple of times for a few weeks to see if I got any messages back and to send out more if I saw any one new. Then I would stop going on for a few months when I ran out of people to send messages to, and then repeat the process when I go on again to check up on things. I'm not sure if it's what I said. I don't do pick up lines. When I look at profiles, I usually see what common interests we have, and when I message, I would greet myself, and bring up a topic about a common interest we would have and try to start a conversation about it. I have autism and I go to a support group for it, and the June 2018 meet up was about meeting new people and dating. They brought in dating coaches, and I got their business card, and I sent them a link to my profiles. They looked them over and said they looked great and they didn't see anything worth changing. They gave me a year and a half of premium for my accounts to help. I got more profile views with the premium, but still no responses. I finally deleted my profiles after that in January of last year (2020) when the premium ran out, since that didn't help as well.

I tried sites like meet up but I didn't find any decent groups in my area. It's a mix of no groups with my interests, people not going to the events and people not talking to the other members of the group. I mainly went on meetup style sites for video game, tabletop game, and movie groups. There are no video game groups near me. The only tabletop game group near me, the members stopped going to the events. I went to one of the weekly events they had at a local store a few years ago. When I got there at the event start time, I was the only customer at the store. I waited for an hour and no one else showed up to the event. I asked about the group to the employees, and they said they haven't shown up to it in months, maybe over a year. That group has since shut down. I tried two different movie groups and for both groups, they basically just had the members pick and chose a date and time for a movie and go see it, without asking other members to plan and meet up with each other before or after seeing the movie (I went to one of them, and there was no mention of the group at the theater)

My friends don't want to help, even though they always ask why I haven't found anyone. They would always give me advice that never worked for me a million times and tell me it should be up to me to find someone. I know we have mutual women friends that I know were single at the time when I asked if they thought I would be a good match for me (with similar interests and beliefs) and they would tell me don’t bother. I have a feeling they thought it would make things weird if I dated them, I just wish they would say something like that instead of always flat out telling me not to bother. For being wingmen, they would always be hesitant and when they would go with me, they would always do their own thing, instead of helping.

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