I have a few stories. I used to work as an academic advisor at a college, and heard some crazy ones.

One student was a regular with me, she would come to my office's lounge to study pretty often. She said her roommate kept odd hours and it was easier, I didn't mind at all because she was a pretty cool kid. So one day, she comes into my office and asks if she could get me to reach out to her roommate -- apparently she had recently started struggling majorly in her classes.

So I email the professor who's her advisor and he has her set up an appointment with me. She comes in and we start to have a chat, after looking at her transcripts from the past couple of semesters I acknowledge that there was a sharp dropoff in her grades. I asked the usual questions about her habits, classes, social life, stress, etc. and it all seemed pretty normal. Then she said, "...well, I did start recently dating this guy, and we tend to stay up really late at night."

At this point, I'm thinking, "Great, I have a solution for this!" This is code for "I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend and I fuck nonstop all the time." I have an answer for this. I talk to her about time management, about spending time during the day with him and dedicating at least a couple of nights a week to study and sleep. Then she says: "well, it's complicated. He's a vampire."

Dude was convinced he was a vampire, he didn't leave his room unless it was dark outside and would only spend time with her at night. I didn't have an answer for that one. I kept on her about time management and she agreed to come in and study in my office a couple of times a week for a couple of hours at a time.

She ended up getting herself together, and of course, vampire boy, since he wouldn't come out during the day, ended up flunking out since 90% of the classes at that school happened during the day.

My office also sent out a weekly email with some tips and tricks for managing life in college, upcoming events, etc. So one day after sending the email I get a profanity-laced reply from a student. I immediately loop in my boss and we schedule a time for him to come in.

Well, he didn't make it to our office. Once he was asked to come in and talk to us, he spray painted the words, "DIE, MOTHERFUCKER, DIE!!" on his roommate's side of the room above his bed. Then when his roommate got back, the kid pretended like nothing was going on. His roommate called the cops, kid was arrested and never made it to my office.