Showed up to a “blind” date with a guy I met on Facebook (we have mutual friends who’ve known him for years and vouched for him). At a dive bar and he’s already got a burger, fries, and two drinks in front of him (like ~$30 worth of food). I know he just got off work so I didn’t care. Sat down and he’s like “ok, full disclosure: I only brought $20 tonight. I had to borrow money from my mom but I really wanted to see you tonight.”

Cool, so we just said hello and I’m already paying for his meal he ordered before I even got there. And honestly the date just got so much worse.

He told me how in middle school he’d been charged (but not convicted) of threatening to shoot up the school. “Bullies” has spread the rumor.

He told me how he’d been engaged to a woman who cheated on him and he’ll “never love anyone as much as he loved her.”

He said that at our age (we were 22 and 23!) if you’re not trying to find the person to spend the rest of your life with you’re just wasting time, and that’s why he wanted to go out with me because he saw a real future with me.

I proceeded to have three trash cans over the course of the night and throw up on myself. He took that as a sign he should come home with me.

In my top three worst first dates.