Oh boy...So it wasn't exactly while I was high, but let me tell you all about what my wife and I commonly refer to as "The Ikea Trip" now.

So I stupidly thought that I could smoke more than my girlfriend (wife now), and she took me up on this challenge. Cue us buying a couple ounces of flower, grams of dabs, edibles, and medicated sodas. That night she, myself, and the roommates all went ham. The roomies tapped out early, and while I managed to put up a decent fight, I was nowhere close to this tiny chick's tolerance. Even after I was at the 'nonverbal and hovering between eating chips and forgetting I even had chips' levels of torched, she was still smoking blunts like cigarettes casually.

Fast forward to that morning, where we had all agreed to go to Ikea the day prior for some stuff we all needed. I was apparently in the 'downward facing dog' position sleeping while they were all getting ready. She finally wakes me up and comes to the realization that I'm still at like 5.3 gigasnoops on the 'holy fuck I'm way too high' scale. Then after I finally got up from the bed, they all waited half an hour for me to come out of the room. Finally, wife comes in and I'm just holding one of her shirts in front of me and had the most befuddled look on my face. Like, I was confused as to how I would put on such a tiny shirt. She literally had to help me get dressed.

The entire hour ride in the car I apparently just had my eyes closed and was cheesing like an idiot. Hadn't said one word all day yet. We finally get to Ikea and the first fucking words out of my mouth are, "mmmmm meatball" before making a beeline to the other end of the store. So yeah, I ate an entire plate full of Ikea meatballs while they all glared at me.

They were some delicious meatballs though.