When I was little, my grandparents did a lot of babysitting for my mom. One night when I was about 3 she asked them to "babysit". She ran off to the other side of the country to be homeless and do drugs or whatever. So, from the time I was really little I lived with my grandparents. However with that comes dealing with and making friends with your grandparents friends, and then hearing they died like a week later or something. My grandpa had just about anything wrong with him that he could ranging from diabetes, kidney failure, heart failure, and god knows how many other things I could list. We were in the hospital in and out constantly. He was fucking invincible and managed to live through all of it but I guess my childhood was mainly comprised of memories of sitting in hospital rooms, ER waiting rooms, the ICU, and of course more doctor appointments for checkups. It means waking up at 3am when you're in 4th grade and not being surprised you're going to the ER again, and wondering what it is this time, wondering if he'll have to have more surgery or not. So, that goes on... while grandpa is having a good few months, grandma feels weird, so we go to the doctor, turns out she's got breast cancer and it's kinda foggy whether or not she'll make it. Ok, I guess. So she goes through radiation and all of that, piling up more medical bills. As the years go by it's clearer to little me that grandpa is dying, and I've already accepted that by now. Finally I'm in my freshman year in high school and watching the man who raised me lay in a hospital bed, not able to recognize me, and not the man he is at all, but instead a drugged-up, confused, poor old man... I knew it would come to this. I remember holding his hand when he died, of course, he didn't wake up the entire day before, and even so, when he was awake, he didnt know me anyway. I guess it was kind of a wake-up maybe, that I wouldn't have him anymore. After he dies, grandma is deemed cancer free. Great!! But now we have medical bills UP THE ASS and apparently insurance didn't cover as much as we thought it did, and we're being turned over to collection companies, etc, etc etc. We had to decide between food for the month or house payments multiple times and we're still kind of in that place sometimes. I went to work to help us with the groceries, things like that. I quit physical therapy, chiropractic treatments and drop my meds because for some reason I've been kicked off the insurance. Woohoo! Things got a little better with money. But then grandma has three consecutive heart attacks... We're still paying for medical bills from my grandpa and now we have to add on my grandma's. Here we are today, and we have to figure it out somehow still...

I don't really feel like I really had a childhood I guess, aside from being a little child who was practically raised in the hospital. Hospital visits are all I really remember, and constantly not being able to do things because we never have enough money... I'm not really sure.

But I want to be a doctor! I love hospitals.