It's a long story, but I once got drinks at a local bar with a girl I knew from high school. Night was going well until she started drinking heavily. Thankfully we ran into a mutual guy friend so I wasn't alone. She got too drunk, started flashing everyone in the bar. Guy friend is sober enough to drive, so he offers to take us home. She decides to get naked in the back seat and - I shit you not - begin masturbating. When we arrive to her house I have to somehow explain to her roommates what happened, and help carry her naked self up to her room. When I get there I notice blood in a couple of places. She had done this all on her period.

She contacts me a few days later and is absolutely humiliated, and says that she had a good time before getting drunk and would like to see me again, this time sober. We all have gotten too drunk and embarrassed ourselves before so I reluctantly agree. We agree to meet at my place the next day so we can go bowling - sober. She shows up at my house shitfaced drunk, having drove there drunk. I leave the room to get her some blankets, and when I come back she has once again removed her clothes. Within seconds, I am hit by a cloud of one of the worst smells I have ever encountered. Nothing more needs to be said there. I sternly ask her to put her clothes back on, and she begins to cry. So I leave the room, unsure what to do. When I come back to try and handle the situation, she is wearing nothing but my dirty underwear and gym shorts I worked out in that day - she had drunkenly retrieved them from my laundry bag. I think "at least she has clothes", give her some blankets and tell her to go to sleep and get the fuck out in the morning. I wish I had taken her home right then and there. The next morning, I come in and shake her awake, only to be greeted by the longest, loudest, greasiest fart I've ever heard. She finally wakes up, gets dressed, and goes home. Not a word was said. When I get back home, I have a single text from her that says "I think I peed on your couch". She was correct, my couch was covered in piss.

We never spoke again. No idea what the fuck was the deal with her.