You see, I know I've been to way too many awful parties when I really have to think about this one.
I'll start with the TL;DR: Same party, girl shits herself, later get into 12 on 4 fight.
This one party I went to though definitely takes the cake. A few guys were hanging out in my friend's basement, playing pong, video games, etc. I was playing with my buddy's golden retriever puppy and went to go walk him. The rest of the guys joined me and we smoked a blunt while walking down the road.
While walking down his street, all of us very drunk and pretty high, we see one of his neighbors is throwing a house party. We decide, fuck it, it'll be better than sitting in a basement all day and we knew the owner of the house so we go check it out after returning the dog home.
We get there and sit around, drink and make friends sitting in the dining room rolling more blunts and listening to music when all of a sudden the 15+ people in the kitchen all just become dead silent. Then the smell hit us.
Some chick had way too much of something, and could not control her rectum, spewing shit all over the kitchen floor. You see, she was wearing short shorts which were also up high enough to give her a wedgie, turning her asshole into a sprinkler of shit. You know how when you cover part of the hose with your thumb to increase the pressure? It was something like that. Anyways, I'm still sitting at the end of the dining room table with the prefect view of this whole ordeal when I realize it's probably time to go, that being the worst thing I've ever seen at a party.
Unfortunately, my one buddy is in the middle of rolling his first blunt, and a solid 8.5/10 cute blonde chick showing him how. Not wanting to leave him there him there alone or cockblock, me and 2 other dudes chilled in the living room, told him to get her number so we could get the fuck out of there.
Maybe 15 minutes later, he's done rolling and he got her Snapchat username and we are just about to leave, but they have this really big circle going on passing around 8 or 9 joints and a blunt, all of us getting stoned so we just stick around for a bit.
Next, the second worst thing that happened to me at a party went down. While in this monster bud circle, my buddy Desmond notices something wet on his shoe. No, it wasn't shit or anything, I watched him spill vodka on it a few minutes earlier, but we still joked around like it was. Now, Desmond is by far the heaviest drinker of all of us, but this night he was absolutely the drunkest I've ever seen him. He had close to a full bottle of gray goose vodka and then some beers at this point. As we are all teasing him about the shit on his shoe he looks this one random kid in the eye and hollers "lick it off". See I knew he was joking but this kid was having none of it. The kid not so kindly asks " what the fuck did you just say?" Of course Desmond replies real quick with a "I said lick that shit off'. Next thing I know, this kids swings at my buddy, I try to break some things up and end up getting swung at, and the 4 of us basically got jumped by ~12 random guys. Eventually the owner of the house comes downstairs with a fucking baby in his hand (not his) and kicks everybody the fuck out of the house. We go back to my buddies house, thankfully all of us were all right, no broken bones or anything.