She's even been reading my email using her phone apparently since this first happened. I didn't find out until about 2 weeks ago, but since then I've been writing messages hoping she would realize that I'm telling her the truth. I'd been keeping a journal before that which she has read, and she's even seen all of the private messages between myself and my attorney from when this first happened. My attorney and I both thought that this was about some sort of DV incident on the day she left. He had even reviewed the resume of the doctor from NJ for me, and I was about to pay him $3,000 the next morning for him to fly down to see me. The only reason I didn't was that the detective ended up calling me thank god later that night to tell me what really happened. Everything I've said and done whether in public or private since then shows the exact same thing...that I didn't do this, and that I thought this was all about something that happened after I went to bed that day. I mean why would I pay my attorney to defend me against the wrong charge on the wrong day? Why would I take a polygraph test? And why would I risk my marriage by hurting her and raping her when I barely even cared about sex anymore? She was always happy to have sex. All I would have had to do was ask, and she would have been happy to have sex any time any day. If for whatever reason she didn't want to have sex that night, then we could have had sex the next day or something like that. None of it makes any sense to me at all... I've never done anything to make her think that I would ever do anything like this. If I had 2 wishes I would use them to cure her diabetes and to undo what happened to her when she was younger. I hated seeing how much it affected her. She never thought that she was good enough, and I wanted to kill her brother for that. She used to get uncomfortable sometimes when we were having sex or we were just sitting closely, and any time she would ever say something I would always give her space and make sure she was comfortable... I could never do something that would put her through what had already hurt her so much.