You seem to be so set on taking anything I say, and trying to turn it around on me instead of trying to see the motivation behind it. I care very much about my wife. It hurts me to know that she thinks that I could do such a horrible thing to her. It hurts to know that she wants a divorce. It hurts to know that she is sleeping with someone else so soon after we separated. I wanted her to be confident. I wanted her to feel like she deserved to be loved. I wanted her to know that she was capable of making her own decisions. I don't know much about BDSM, but that does not make me a horrible person in any way. I tried to learn about it for the sake of my wife. That's usually considered a good thing. I tried to share her interests, and I found that I enjoyed it too. I worry about her, and I worry that what she is doing now might not be good for her in the long run. Maybe I'm right, and maybe I'm wrong. Either way I know that a short term relationship with people she just met doesn't compare with the love that comes with the promise of forever. It may seem exciting to her right now, but eventually the excitement of something new will end. That's the benefit of marriage... it doesn't end, and it only gets better with time. No matter what I say you have to find something wrong with it. I make a suggestion about what her and I "COULD" do to try to fix things, and you tell me that I'm just being controlling again, and demanding that things would happen that way. I made a suggestion about a way that her and I could try to move forward. I didn't demand anything. I didn't say we need to do anything. I didn't say I'm excused from anything. I care very much what she wants, but yes forgive me for hoping that she would want it to be with me her husband... the man that a day before this she loved very much. I guess I am old fashioned in believing that marriage is something that should be taken seriously, and I don't see anything wrong with that. Something that should be forever unless there is some sort of major problem such as cheating or abuse. There has been neither in this case. I don't think that her and I should go on with her thinking that I raped her. I'm hoping that she will realize the truth.