For me it’s LSD. I use it more than you’re supposed to for sure, but it makes me feel so normal. My friends and I are moving into a bigger house soon and the stuff is seriously motivating me to get shit done and clean up. I mean, adhd medication helps keep me awake but the endless drag of life that nags at me, that weakness in my joints, gets relieved when I drop acid…

I weirdly also feel like I’m a better parent to my son and my friends’ son on it. I feel like I let them down often cause I’m just too depressed to care about Star Wars or something gross and disgusting and really weird they heard in school and want to tell me about. But when I drop acid I can relate to them so much (there’s always a sober adult present). And I can let lose and be crazy and swim in my clothes with them randomly during an outing, and go one a million rides at the theme park and it’s all good. And they can talk to me about school and whatever makes them sad and I can be there for them.

I don’t like being sober for too long cause the depression is like the Nothing clawing at me. It drains me and turns me into a “not now sweetie,” POS that’s always on the couch gambling and trying to hold back my tears.

But uhm, sorry, you said weed. Personally can’t handle it well cause it makes me paranoid. I’ve often been jealous of my frienda who smoke and find solace in it but I guess they have problems of their own.