i think the biggest thing for me is the age gap and where we are in life. the girl i've been seeing is 6 years younger than me and she's still in the "wooo let's party" phase. she had a child at 18 years old and now that her kid is no longer an infant/toddler, she's using her early 20's as a "make up" for lost time so to speak. she shares custody with the child's father so she has free time.

she loves going out to bars and getting hammered. she enjoys going to friend's houses to play poker with idiots and she's always down for a weekend party. the problem is, she doesn't just go out and have a couple drinks and that's it. she'll go out and drink until closing. i've had to ask bartenders to cut her off behind her back because she was too drunk and making an ass out of herself. i've had people i know come up to me and tell me to keep an eye on her. i've had friends come up to me and pull me aside to ask me what's going on with her when she drinks.

i used to love all that stuff too when i was her age. i can't tell you how many friday/saturday nights i'd be at some bar with my friends getting hammered, then calling a dealer for a bag of blow and rocking out all weekend... i had a lot of fun, but it was time to grow up and once i took a look at my financial state i saw that partying was ruining my overall goal of one day buying a house. so i gave it all up. i don't drink, i don't do drugs, you'll never bump into me at a bar and if you do it's a special occasion like someone close's birthday or a very very fast game of pool if i happen to be walking by, but for the most part - i spend my nights at home or in a bowling alley these days. there's no more "holy shit what happened last night?" conversations. there are no more "oh god i sent that text?!" lookbacks. there are no more "damnit i spent $400 last night? how the fuck did that happen?" regrets. i know where my money is, i know what makes me happy. i'm in a much better overall state since i gave up the party lifestyle and i wouldn't change that for anything.

i think once she calms down and finds out that you don't have to be going out drinking all the time to enjoy yourself or your life, things can start to take shape as far as our relationship goes, but i won't be making any drastic moves for a longer term relationship until then. don't get me wrong, i'm not bothered by the fact that she drinks and i don't anymore... what bothers me is that she takes it another level.