What is the most embarrasing thing you could admit about yourself on Reddit but never in real life?

I can do you one better. I was at Everfree Northwest this year and my experience has basically made me quit associating with Bronies.

So there was an after-hours EDM event ("Ponystock") at the con center. Let me paint you a picture of it. 20-year-old guys standing in little knots like timid gazelles who are too afraid to look stupid to have a good time. It was like a middle school dance all over again. Some guys were even bearding on about how they should be playing "classy" music instead of this "electronic garbage."

Shit sucked, but I wanted to enjoy it. So one hotel break and several drinks later, I came back to find a knot of people actually trying to (do you call it moshing with EDM I have no fucking idea) near the front, so we joined them. The cool people came out of the woodworks. It was awesome. Made some friends. Acted like an idiot, but everyone else was an idiot with me so it counted as fun instead.

And then the jumping up and down got together with the alcohol and ganged up on me until I urinated a little.

Yeah.

I pissed in my underwear (not enough to soak through and get at my shorts) at a fucking Brony convention wearing plastic horse ears.

And it wasn't the most embarrassing thing going on in the room at the time. That's the fucking kicker. I intentionally chose to associate with people who are more awkward than a grown-ass adult in a dark ballroom wearing horse ears and pissing on herself.

And then when I was in the bathroom cleaning off, a thirsty girl dressed as Princess Luna made a pass at me. That would have been the perfect end to that embarrassing day, but she had a cute friend and I don't know when to quit so I ended up grouping with them for the rest of the night.

I'm 21 but I'd never smoked weed before. So on top of everything else, after the event was over, I had a bunch of teenagers show me how. And I fucked it up. I watched the cute girl to get a sense of what to do with my fucking hands, but the angle was bad so it looked to me like she'd held the lighter under the thing like a crack pipe and the teenage bronies laughed at me. The fuck do you want, teenage bronies. I'm fucking drunk.

And according to my more-experienced friend (who initially I was tactfully leaving out of this story but fuck it), it was just used-up ash anyways. No high at all in return for my burning throat and bruised pride.

We then went to their room to hang out, and their roommate was watching Jurassic Park with no pants on. So that was great. No-pants bronies sitting on a hotel room bed. That had to be part of that day. Of fucking course it did. And also he wanted the V.

Bronies. Not even once.

TL;DR Not only was I a Brony. Not only was I at a Brony convention. But I drunkenly pissed myself and still wasn't the most awkward person in the room.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent