My parents were obsessed with my looks too. I remember when I started getting pimples and my dad started yelling at me about not taking care of myself and then googles pictures of women with deep craters on their face from cystic acne and asked me if I wanted to end up looking like them and to go wash my damn face.

My parents also picked on my weight a lot. I was 5’10” and 140lbs at 14, I was taller than every girl in my age range, and my parents would pinch and poke at me, mocking my puberty weight gain. I even had to do weigh ins with my dad and he said if I ever got above 150lbs serious action would be taken. I ended up developing an eating disorder and dropped to 115lbs and he would tell me how sickly and disgusting I looked. I could never win, I was never acceptable.

I really hated getting my teeth worked on and i had to go get braces for a second time and I was complaining about it on the way there. My dad pretty much said I needed to get the braces to be beautiful. And that only beautiful people were successful and happy. I still think of that when I examine my station in life, like I just haven’t been beautiful enough to be happy and for people to love me.

I’m 25 now and when people call me attractive or beautiful I just can’t believe them because my bottom teeth have shifted even with all the orthodontic work, I still get pimples, and even though my weight is normal and most people call me skinny it just doesn’t feel “acceptable”.