Equality isn’t always a good thing.
Before all of you bite my head off or quote Martin Luther King Jr., hear me out.
We’re usually supposed to hate double standards, setting two different sets of rules or principles for different people or situations. Fair enough, a lot of double standards are disgusting, like the fact that women who casually hook up are seen as slutty but men with the same sexual repertoire are hailed as experienced. Or the fact that, statistically, black and Latino men have longer prison sentences than white criminals for the same crimes. And how about the fact that equal pay doesn’t exist in the USA whatsoever. See, those are some crappy double standards, and it’s ridiculous that equality is unheard of in these scenarios.
But not all double standards are bad. In fact, I think that some double standards are necessary.
Well, try telling that to the people who think that it is some sort of unfair double standard that gay people get gay pride parades, or that women or Latinos have months dedicated to their accomplishments. The group that has the most privilege is always the one who complains about other people getting what they see as special rights or perks. What do I mean by that? Well, how many times have you heard the following: Why can’t straight people be proud about being straight and have parades? Why isn’t there a month dedicated to men’s history? If BET can exist, why can’t WET (White Entertainment Television)?
“Double standard! Double standard!” shout the straight people, the angry men, the “alienated” white folks, etc.
Believe it or not, the double standards that I briefly touched upon aren’t put in place to make privileged people feel bad; they’re usually put it place to help people who are treated like minorities in our society. There’s no White Entertainment Television to counteract BET because an overwhelming majority of television is made by, about and for white people. There’s no point in having straight pride parades because, frankly, what’s the point of celebrating all those great rights and representation you already have by default other than to brag? Face it, you just want an excuse to be on a float. The history and accomplishments of men are force fed to us for the majority of our educational careers, which is why one month out of the year that’s dedicated to learning about the awesome women who are overlooked in an average history lesson doesn’t signal some sort of coordinated attack on all men; at least not this year.
In people’s blind attempts to see everything equally, they don’t realize these so-called unequal, awful double standards are put in place to promote more equality and try to set a more level playing field.
Even when it comes to the controversial question of who can and can’t say the N word, I’m fine with ignoring the “equality for equality’s sake” approach. Here’s what I mean: When non-black people whine and say that it is a double standards that they can’t say the N word, my short response is this: If it’s a double standard, then so be it. The long answer is this: We don’t live in some sort of utopian, parallel universe where context is unimportant and words have the same meaning no matter who says them. We’re not robots, we’re human beings with feelings and emotions and some situations make us more uncomfortable that others. Those are the facts, whether you like them or not. I personally don’t use that word and I don’t like it, but I’m not going to lie and say that I’m going to have the same exact reaction to hearing a white person as I would to a black person saying it. Call that hypocritical all you want, but I don’t think that those feelings are unfair.
Basically, I think that it is important to get mad at some double standards and it is important–or at least harmless–to preserve others. If you’re looking for some sort of key to determining which double standards are worse than others, think of it this way: Which side is being hurt the most by this double standard being in place? Hint: I don’t think that guys are losing any sleep by not being called sluts, but I’m pretty sure there are plenty of girls out there who would love to be able to have an exciting love life without being called a whore.