What is the one most important thing that separates the civilized from the uncivilized?

civ·i·lize

ˈsivəˌlīz

verb

past tense: civilized; past participle: civilized

bring (a place or people) to a stage of social, cultural, and moral development considered to be more advanced.

"a civilized society"

synonyms: enlighten, edify, improve, educate, instruct, refine, cultivate, polish, socialize, humanize

"they were trying to civilize people who strongly resented the intrusion"

..

polite and well-mannered.

adjective: civilized; adjective: civilised

"such an affront to civilized behavior will no longer be tolerated"

synonyms: polite, courteous, well mannered, civil, gentlemanly, ladylike, mannerly;

...According to the definitions above we have two possible answers, depending on definition. Regarding the first definition:

ad·vanced

ədˈvanst

  1. adjective

far on or ahead in development or progress.

"negotiations are at an advanced stage"

synonyms: state-of-the-art, new, modern, developed, cutting-edge, leading-edge, up-to-date, up-to-the-minute, the newest, the latest; More

  1. new and not yet generally accepted.

"his advanced views made him unpopular"

Let's ignore the second definition since civilization is generally popular enough. Progress...

prog·ress

1.

noun

ˈpräɡres/

forward or onward movement toward a destination.

"the darkness did not stop my progress"

synonyms: forward movement, advance, going, progression, headway, passage

"boulders made progress difficult"

verb

prəˈɡres/

move forward or onward in space or time.

"as the century progressed, the quality of telescopes improved"

synonyms: go, make one's way, move, move forward, go forward, proceed, advance, go on, continue, make headway, work one's way

"they progressed slowly down the road"

The second definition gives us "civilization is that which is further in time" which is overly broad and tautological.

The first definition is subjective. We require a destination. I must ask, what OP considered the the ideal social, cultural, or moral environment to aspire after? People holding these qualities akin to this ideal will therefore be civilized.

Regarding the second definition "polite and well mannered."

po·lite

pəˈlīt

adjective

having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people.

...

re·spect·ful

rəˈspek(t)fəl/

adjective

feeling or showing deference and respect.

...

re·spect

rəˈspekt

noun

1.

a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

...

ad·mi·ra·tion

ˌadməˈrāSH(ə)n/

noun

respect and warm approval.

...

con·sid·er·ate

kənˈsidərət

adjective

careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others.

...

def·er·ence

ˈdef(ə)rəns

noun

humble submission and respect.

...

In conclusion, a civilized person:

  1. Admires other's achievements and approves of them.
  2. Submits to others and is humble.
  3. does not cause harm or inconvenience to others.

I know an animal that generally fits this description.

/r/AskReddit Thread