This is what happened with me. I bet this is super rare outcome but I did horrible things to someone I dearly loved. I don’t know why I did it, but I live with it forever. I was a horrible person and deserved to die. I truly did feel horrible for myself. But it was always mental health and rage issues.

I was abused my entire life by my father and mother, saw only violence, drugs and abuse. Grew up with physical and verbal abuse, deaths everywhere and even sexual abuse. List goes on but I escaped and grew into a successful man. Once I hit my late 20s I fell into a slump and all the memories came rushing back. I became suicidal, depressed and abusive to the one I love. Many meltdowns (abuse followed by crying), drug abuse and suicide attempts later, something finally clicked again. cops were involved even having swat come down on me once.

I got help and changed. I’m back in a very successful career, drug free, and no suicidal thoughts. My childhood and teenage years still live with me but I’ve learned to cope through therapy. I still carry a huge amount of guilt for the things I did to the woman I love, but somehow we’ve made it work. I know I was a monster but I really want to say that people change. Not all of them, but some do.

I know in the far back of my mind I’m scared I might slip into a depression again, and all this could be for nothing if it happens even 40 years from now - but it’s really just not an option anymore. Stay strong everyone.