Late to this one. Anyway, years ago I bought a new house and my new girlfriend helped me move in. I was doing various projects and among other things was patching some walls with plaster.

One day my penis got blisters on it, and I assumed that, um, I had maybe gotten an std from her. I wasn't sure, just confused. She came over that night and I sheepishly had to ask her if she had, um, had an std screening lately. It was really awkward and she was a total sweetheart about it, and she said that she had no signs of anything. She was really supportive.

Meanwhile my dick hurt like hell. I went to Planned Parenthood for a screening, and when the nurse looked at my poor blistered junk she was puzzled. "Hmm. I've never seen anything like this. Can I call in a colleague?" Sure, I said. So another woman comes in and they glove up and we all stare at it puzzled for like 5 minutes.

Finally the second woman says: "this actually looks a lot like chemical burns. What have you been up to? Have you possibly used any chemicals lately, worked with solvents or cement...? Plaster?"

Doh! Bingo. While doing home improvement I had some powdered plaster of paris on my hands and went to take a pee. I got it on my dick as I held it peeing. Add a bit of sweat and it was like WWI in the trenches down there.

My girlfriend had a real laugh at that, but was so nice to me.

Let this be a lesson: watch out for yer junk when working with things like this. That goes for prepping hot peppers, too. Pay attention.