The night, as my mother and I call it.

The night everything with my insane, abusive father came to a head. I was waiting outside my father's room with a phone in case I had to call 911 (had to earlier in the week) as he and my mom screamed at each other. I peeked aeound the corner and saw my father begin to move, the muscles in his back shift as he was about to deck my mother as she was bent down picking up something. Time froze. And I had to make a decision.

I ran into the room and full body checked him. Sent him flying to the wall. Where he then let loose an animalistic roar of pain and fury.

Mom took me out of the room. I was shaking as I knew I had just crossed a line I could never go back over. Even if it was in her defense, I had hurt my father. But that wasn't the end. I had, in one moment, transferred his anger to me, someone he already had come to hate and fear, and with the pain multiplied it.

Mom tried to put him to bed but he came roaring out for me. I was so sick and tired of living in fear so I met him head on. I don't think either of us were using words at this point. We were just screaming at one another.

Then he punched me in the face.

It wasn't a hard punch. Honestly, it didn't hurt at all. Physically. But despite all the shit he had done before, he had never hit me in anger before. Another line crossed.

And let me tell you, my blood went on fire. How DARE he hit me?! So I reared back hard, about to throw the hardest punch of my life. I knew where to aim, his left temple. But just befofe I released the punch, all the rage just evaporated. I heard someone say "that's enough." Maybe it was my imagination. Dunno. Mom was letting things play out. Even dad was shocked I didn't deck him.

Then be tried to punch me again. "Guess I do need to defend myself" I thought but mom then intervened and successfully got him to go to bed. We later huddled in the kitchen and tried to recover.

Thst night was the scariest I have had. It was the genesis for us seeking help, for my father and for us. So some good came of it. But that roar of pain of his...it will haunt me.