not the scariest thing ever to happen to me but basically any time I smoke now more than a small bowl i get major panic attacks.
just last week i had a major freak out because i started thinking i was going to lose my job. earlier that day i had gone in to the doctors get a physical evaluation as a part of my job qualifications, and because of the kind of work i do the doctor had mentioned to me that she was going to do a drug test. somehow this didn't bother me at the time, even though i had taken taken some methadone the night before, 20 mg adderal and some tramadol the day before that, and had smoked weed several times in the past week. they ended up taking a urine sample in addition to my blood work and after that i went home and kind of pushed it out of my mind.
that night, however, after taking a rip from my friend's bong, i became lost in thought and with increasing anxiety began to go over that day's events. suddenly the fact that i had willing given away bodily fluids showing evidence of my drug use began to seem really bad, and i became convinced that i was going to lose my job. the weed seemed to send me into a mental state of absolute clarity where i suddenly saw that i was a genuine drug addict and a shamefully, morally depraved degenerate, who was absolutely going to lose their job sometime in the next week, and would probably end up killing himself after it all went down. as i was thinking all this i was watching john oliver with my friend on his laptop, trying to seem like i was paying attention, but internally feeling like i was going to die, my heart racing so fast and beating so hard it was almost all i could focus on.
after that i passed out for about and hour, drove myself home, and somehow went to sleep. the next day i went to work somewhat more calm but all day i was still thinking that i would have to come in the next week and confess that i could not be licensed and would have to quit because i was a drug addict. as someone with social anxiety and depression the prospect of this was terrifying enough that i almost couldn't think about it. the best thing i could think of to do was to send my supervisor an email with an explanation, resign, and never leave my house again.
however when i went in on friday to collect the results of my tests the nurse handed me a sheet explaining that i was in normal physical condition and showing no indication that any drugs had been found in my system. so i went in to work the next week like usual and forgot it had ever happened. i don't know if the didn't test my pee or what but evidently all my worrying had been for nothing so i went back to taking drugs like normal without any trace of guilt what so ever.