Finally I can answer one of these.

Middle school, circa 2010. I was never a “big kid”; in fact I remember stepping on the scale one time in front of my friends and it reading 69 pounds. I was very short for my age and still am, coming in at only 5’8”.

Our small school had just gotten lockers for all middle schoolers. They weren’t the lockers that are long and slim. they were the half lockers. Me being middle school me, I decided to show my friends I could sit in my locker. Satan only knows why my dumbass decided to close it from the inside.

People who have been locked inside a locker before know you can’t just shout out your combo and expect people to open it. For some reason, under these extreme circumstances people lose all ability to enter a combo under pressure. So there I am sitting, and I’m waiting for an eternity when the gym teacher let’s me out. Apparently all the other teachers were too fuckin busy I guess.

Mom picks me up after school and hears about. I receive the head shake of shame. “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.”