A few hits from my dream journal:
4/9/11 I had a dream that I was trying to convince this girl that she was the only one who could stop the New Jersey (now Brooklyn) Nets. No idea why they needed to be stopped.
10/29/13 I woke up out of a dream feeling like I needed to apologize to Jonas Salk.
4/30/15 A potato chip fell on my head. It was very mysterious.
6/3/15 Last night I had multiple dreams about a corporation called Summit Telepathy. Or maybe that's a real thing, and they were beaming commercials into my brain all night long.
10/15/15 I solved people's relationship problems by daring them to eat increasingly large chunks of jellied original-flavor Listerine.
5/18/16 The Denver Broncos are up to no good and possibly able to teleport.
7/23/16 I was at a wedding (not mine). We sang "Let It Go" from "Frozen" congregationally but had to stop right before the last line of the song so the groom could give a report on gas stations. He had made a nice poster to go with his report, but I got bored and woke up.
12/24/17 I was the guy other men came to for advice about manliness, which I occasionally dispensed in a bad Scottish accent for emphasis. One guy dragged his friend, who had gotten his nose pierced and wanted to send a selfie to his girlfriend, to see me while I was in the shower. I tried to explain that the only jewelry the girlfriend actually cared about was the stuff he bought for her, and I had a whole lecture prepared on the pointlessness of nose-piercing selfies for either gender, but no one cared. However, when I got out of the shower, they all wanted to cast me as a Latino version of myself (I'm white) for a sitcom they were filming on their cell phones.
3/13/18 I was playing some card game that was a cross between blackjack, gin rummy, and Magic the Gathering. We were supposed to have five-card hands but were all playing with with twelve cards instead. On my turn, I won a round of blackjack with a 20 (the other two people playing that round stayed on 12 and 57 respectively) and then got to trade two queens, four kings, and two elves for the right to draw a dozen CD covers from this massive pile of them that took up half the table. The last album I drew was titled "Metallica Sings [the musical] Oklahoma," but I woke up before I got a chance to listen to it.