I’m in the same spot as you, however it is my kids dad that just up and took off, it’s been a year with 0 contact. I’ve been to counsellors and so have my kids. What my counsellor said that stuck out the most to me was I can’t change it, I can’t fix it, I can’t take that pain away. My counsellor told me to talk about it and listen to them, if they say they hate their dad, say I get it, i know you’re upset, etc.

My kids don’t talk about it, they won’t say a peep, I think the pain is pretty fresh as it’s only been a year. I think if your kids are talking about it, that’s awesome. Let them talk, let them vent. You don’t have to say anything other that you understand and hear them.

I personally wouldn’t encourage contact but that’s your call. To me, I think what’s stopping the ‘mom’ from ditching again, just causing more pain, again.