A 46 year old man was disabled at the age of 27. Before that, he was a volunteer firefighter and construction worker. He was married for 6 years at the time of his accident and had 3 very young children. He was VERY active and always on the go. Woke up at 4am for work and didn't get home sometimes until 7pm. Even when he got home before that, he would have something going on. Being a volunteer firefighter he was on call 24/7/365. Many times while sleeping the alarm would go off for a fire or EMS call and he would get up and go. This was his life from birth. All he ever knew was firefighting and rescue. He grew up across the street from a fire dept and was a Jr, firefighter at the age of 8. Became a Sr firefighter at 18. Every firefighter goes through the ranks hoping to some day make Chief. It's all he ever wanted and worked day and night for it. Finally, after years of 100% dedication to the fire dept, he made his first step on the road of becoming Chief one day by becoming Lt of his ENG Co. That day will NEVER be forgotten. About 1 month after making Lt, he was working on a building when he feel 20' to the ground landing on a solid cement driveway on his feet. He was rushed to a trauma hospital where he learned he broke his lower back, blew out both knees, injured both shoulders and his neck. Didn't brake 1 bone. The Dr's told him he would've been better off if he did. If he broke both of his legs it would've absorbed the impacted to the rest of his body. Because of the person he is, he just thought he would be out of work for a week or 2 and be fine. It didn't turn out that way at all. Months have past and still unable to do anything. Dr's are telling him he will not be able to work or be a firefighter again. He still wouldn't or didn't want to believe any of them. They say being a firefighter is like being a part of a 2nd family. 3 years has past and the "brother hood" of the fire dept has dwindled away to nothing. It was like a bad relationship. At first the love is none stop. But as time goes by, it becomes less and less until one day you turn around and find yourself alone. Feeling so alone and like his whole life was turned up side down, he picked up his family and moved hoping to start over. After about a year in his new town things started getting worse. His wife was becoming heartless and very nasty to him. She is always putting him down because he can't work. But his kids are young and he doesn't want to leave them. He never would. He always said "I'd rather be unhappy with her, than make my kids unhappy by leaving" So he put up with the relentless bashing day after day. Last year, 2 years after back surgery it started to hit him that he won't ever be able to do anything he used too. Yea, it's a long time, but for him every day the same day. It was like weeks and months became 1 long day because he was always hoping tomorrow was going to be better. Every day was the biggest fight of his life holding in and hiding what was really going on. I learned by watching him and knowing what is really going on that, the more a person laughs and the more jokes they tell, the more they are fighting to hide the hurt they really are in. So now after almost 20 years, I think he is starting to hit rock bottom. The past year he was going to the gym 6 days a week doing whatever he could do to get back in some kind of shape. He was doing so good. About 3 months ago his back started hurting him more and more each day until he couldn't go to the gym. He said he'll rest a week and go back at it slow. After the first week, he went back but couldn't do much. He was just worming up and it started hurting too much to do anything else. He tried again a few days later, but it was the same thing. Now, 3 months have past and he still can't do anything because of the pain in his back and legs. He was finally feeling like he was on top of the world after so many years of feeling like a "waste of life" (his words). He was feeling good and looking good. Now he says he's to old to care and he already lost his whole life. He's 46 now and his kids are in their 20's. He said he hates himself for not ever being able to play with his kids in the park or chase them around the yard. Doesn't feel like he was a good man because his son's never saw their father come home from a hard day at work and got to see how a man takes care of his family the right way. I guess it wouldn't be as bad to him if his wife stood behind him instead of on him. He never heard his wife or anybody tell him he was wrong when he was having a bad day and said "I'm not a man" or "I wasn't a good father". His kids love him to death, but he doesn't see it. I look at him and I just don't know what to say or do. You can see how empty he is when you look in his eyes. He says he would never kill himself, but the last few weeks I don't know if I believe it anymore. He would care and worry about everything and everybody. Always had a clean room and house. Wouldn't leave the house even if it was to just go get milk without taking a shower first. His car was always clean inside and out like it was new even 3 or 4 years after he had it. The last few weeks he won't even put his clothes away. He has them in a corner of his room. His house and car are a mess. He's the opposite of everything he was. I talk to him and he has no reaction or expression. He looks like he's sleeping with his eye open. How can I help somebody that is convinced he isn't worth it and is a waste of life. He always says "I'm not depressed. I'm realistic".