The fox and the pineapple

One day mr fox was walking through the woods when he came across a banana. "Oh" said mister fox "a banana. I shouldn't eat that, I'm allergic" "But I'm a pineapple" said the banana. "What?" the fox asked, "you're clearly a banana." "No, shitlord" exclaimed the banana " I identify as a pineapple and you have to respect that! "But" mr. fox said "I'm looking right at you...you're a banana" "DONT YOU FUCKING OPPRESS ME!" the banana shrieked. "OK ok" mr fox said, apologizing. "I know how I can prove it to you, come with me" The fox picked up the banana and went into town. He went to the local vet who he'd had seen helping some of the animals before. "Excuse me," mr fox said "But I have a banana here that says it's a pineapple." "I AM a pineapple!" the banana cried "Can you run some sort of test?" the fox asked "OK, said the vet, but everyone can clearly see this is a banana" "CIS scum!" the banana yelled! The vet took the banana from the fox and asked him to come back later. The fox returned to the woods and told all his woodland friends about the situation.

"But, you love pinepple, mr fox" said the rabbits

"Yeah, just eat it. What's the big deal" asked the sparrow

"Well, first of all it's not a pineapple, it's a banana. And secondly, I'm allergic to banana so if I ate it I'd die."

"But, it's a pineapple" the owl hooted

"no...no it isn't" the fox argued. "I'll prove it to you, the vet should be done by now"

So the fox returned to the vet and asked what he had discovered. "It's obviously a banana." the vet explained "it can pretend it's a pineapple all it wants, but I did a test on its DNA and it is most certainly a banana"

"Raaaape! RAAAAPPPPEEE!!!" the banana squealed

"Thanks" said the fox, taking the banana and turning around. Mr fox then returned to the woods and told all the woodland creatures what the vet had said

"But...if it says it's a pineapple, then we should all treat it like a pineapple." the skunk argued. "Just eat the pinepple, mr fox, you love pineapple."

"But it isn't a pineapple!" the fox exclaimed. "It can pretend it is all it wants but all the science and common sense in the world PROVES it's a banana!"

"Stop being such an oppressive shitlord!" the squirrels all cried out.

"Fine!" interupted the fox "Fine, I'll prove it!" and the fox ate the banana. His face swelled, his chest hurt, and he fell over dead.

The moral of the story is: Bruce Jenner is still a man