I got diagnosed quite late, soon before I turned 32.

My parents split up when I was 4, (full custody went to my dad) and I have only one or two memories of my time before then. I'm the middle child of 3 girls, and a lot of the responsibility in the family fell on my older sister, even though she's only 3 yrs older than me, so 7 at the time of the split.

Our dad is very old-school, and quite reactionary (born in 1946). I remember being told off for "talking back" a few times as a kid. He was very disciplinary, and expected us girls to behave at all times. We were exceedingly well-behaved, but goofed off with each other (especially me and my younger sis, who's closer in age to me) and occasionally could goof off with our dad, but he was mostly kind of scary in that "I'm gonna tell dad when he gets home!" kind of way, and you knew you were in for it.

He never disciplined us physically, but used the "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed" kind of threat/discipline. It was fucking scary. I've never felt worse than when I knew I had let him down. He expected us to behave in a certain way, and not living up to that was crushing.

Because my dad got stationed in different places in his work as a doctor specialising in public health in developing countries, and since our mother is of a different nationality that him, my sisters and I are "third culture kids". It's normal for them to feel a lack of cultural cohesion, and to have identity issues. I chalked all my identity/fitting in issues up to being a TCK, and not as a component of BPD.

My dad and I were at loggerheads for pretty much all of my teen years. We just did not see eye to eye, and I lashed out in almost every way I could think of. And yet, his strict upbringing prevented me from going completely off the rails. I made it to university, and only had a nervous breakdown when I was completing my MA. That was the catalyst that got me into treatment that lead to my BPD diagnosis.

Now, and throughout my journey from my breakdown to my current treatment, my dad has been nothing but the most supportive and encouraging person. Of course we are still who we are, and so we don't always see eye to eye, but he's been there for me all the way. I've learnt to navigate his grumpy old man style, and appreciate that he is at his core actually a very caring person. You just have to put up with a lot of shit to realise that!