3. What was your toxic trait, and what motivated you to change?

What was your toxic trait, and what motivated you to change?

i was seriously toxic. i was an extreme debbie downer like my mom, and an egoistic fuck like my dad.

i was always whining about stuff, getting angry about the smallest thing, letting the smallest slights get to me, unable to let go of stuff, that kinda thing. i was also extremely egoistic, thinking that i am the only one who knows things, and other people just dont know as much as i do.

my best friend would sometimes get fed up and gently tell me what he thinks, but the message never really sunk in.

until one day, i got annoyed by my parents doing the same thing, and then it hit me. oh my god i am exactly the same as them. and i seriously did not want to be like that. my parents are literally the most toxic people i know. every conversation is either a spat, a ridicule, a complaint, a put down, or gossiping about others, or reveling in other's failure. they are good people, mind you, but they tend to feel smug about it when other people fail.

my parents dont really have friends, and even if they do get together and reconnect with some peers, these relationships never last long. that should've been a sign growing up, but i was taught that not having friends as adults is completely normal, because that's how the world works, people are just friends with each other for the benefits, thats why you dont really have friends after youre an adult. it was until i started working, and legitimately joined society, that i realized that was bullshit. they dont have friends because nobody can stand them.

there's also this old coworker who was the most negative egoistic person i have ever known. if you ask for his opinion on anything, nothing can be done, and nothing can be fixed, and only he could do it. i realized that i was the same in regards to the egoistic part, and i really realized how grating it could be, and how people just dont give a shit about how smart you think you sound. my dad is also the same as this coworker, and my dad is literally the most egoistic guy i know. and it's genuinely revolting. i realized if i dont change myself right then, i would end up just like him.

these days i try to stay positive, and not say anything if i have nothing nice to say. not saying i dont slip up sometimes, nor i am now a saint who can do no wrong, but i am really trying to change my mindset and how i communicate with people, and the message that i send out into the world.

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