What is/was your weirdest teacher like?

My grade 5 teacher was a real...character. She had two dresses that she would alternate wearing every other day. They were identical in every way, except one was yellow and one was green. She had 14 cats (a point she brought up frequently) and she smelled like, well, that she had 14 cats.

Now to get into what she did. First was good ol' English class: she would read us stories aloud in class and, on multiple occasions, she started to cry and have to leave the class. Were they sad stories? No, but she found a somber tone in anything. Next was my first lesson in History: did you know Hitler wasn't a bad guy? He just didn't know how to stop killing all those people. Just a misunderstood dude, really. She also said she was proud of ALL her German heritage. How did she discipline kids, you ask? You had to stand in the doorway for the entire class with your hands touching its frame. Not that bad in theory...except she'd send 4 or 5 kids there every class. Then we had one girl in our class ask her what her ankle tattoo meant. She was sent to the office and our teacher started crying, saying 'If I wasn't poor, I'd get this stupid tattoo removed. It's caused me such heartache.' (it was a half moon). She refused to teach male sex education because she 'wasn't familiar with it.'

Now for what she did to me specifically (besides make me stand in the door almost daily). She called up my parents one day to tell them that they hadn't raised me right. I was a problem child and I was the most difficult child she's ever dealt with. My parents defended me, while keeping it as friendly as they could. After a half hour of speaking about me in a negative fashion, she suggests I skip a grade because of my 'advanced learning and hyperactivity.' I don't disagree with the assessment necessarily, but she didn't need to tell my parents they're doing a shitty job. At the end of the day, I didn't skip a grade, because fuck her, right?

TLDR; Teacher bathed in cat piss, made crying seem like a necessity for reading, and gave my parents some tips on how to raise a stable human being

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